We find out that Izzy will be at our house around 4pm Friday afternoon. It doesn't occur to me until that morning that this is also black Friday! GREAT! So there Emma and I are in the middle of Target with 500 crazy people buying diapers, clothes, bottles etc. By the way, none of that stuff is on sale on black Friday if you were wondering. Check out was miserable. I was afraid we wouldn't make it in time to be home by 4pm and it was only 10am. But we finally made it home and unloaded all our goodies.I loved looking at all the clothes we bought. The little pink and purple outfits covered in flowers and bunnies and such. If you don't know Emma then let me tell you that she is a tomboy and has no interest in pink, purple, flowers or bunnies! So this was my final shot at having a girly girl.As I am writing this I have to tell you that it never occurs to me while we are waiting for her to come that she isn't already mine. I really don't know much of her story at this point and for all I know there could be plenty of suitable family members to take her and we may have her just for a couple of days. But in my mind this baby is mine. They tell you in all your classes not to cross that line. Love the child, take care of the child but realize that this is NOT your child. Well that is easier said then done.
4pm comes and we get a phone call from the case worker that they are coming up the road and just wanted to make sure I was home. I was so excited and couldn't wait for the door bell to ring. I open the door to find a man standing with 2 diaper bags,a huge file of paper work and a teeny tiny little baby. And of course I burst into tears! She was so tiny and so beautiful. Let me tell you that that is the best way to deliver a baby. Just open the door and they hand her to you! No epidural needed!
I am sure he told me what all the paperwork said and I am sure he told me a bunch of other things but I don't remember a word. I was too busy staring and this precious baby girl. Emma wanted so badly to hold her so after the case worker left we just sat on the couch taking turns holding her. It was such a great bonding time.
When Chris got home a couple hours later from work you could tell he was kinda freaked out by the fact that he went to work with no baby and after work there was a baby! Of course I was already attached but Chris wouldn't let his guard down. It was probably a good 6 weeks before he finally started falling in love. He didn't want to get attached and then they take her from us. In the course of those 6 weeks her helped feed and diaper and all the things that go with having a baby. But the connection didn't happen until a little later. I remember he was holding her on the couch and he started talking to her and she smiled for the first time. It about melted him into a puddle. From then on I think he really hoped and prayed she was here to stay.
In the weeks that followed we met with our foster care team and no one really wanted to get our hopes up but there was always this underlying feeling I had that they really wanted adoption to happen. Her paternal g-parents were already fostering Izzys brother and her maternal g-ma didn't pass the home study. So really there wasn't anyone else to take her. Mom was still in prison and Dad got out but then soon ended up going back in. I just knew God's plan was for her to be ours.
I have to stop and talk about Izzys paternal grandparents. Jim and Anita. They did what the had to do when Izzy's brother was in need of a safe place they took him in and loved him as if he was their son. By the time I met them they were on track to get to adopt Jace. But what they didn't have to do was like us or even be nice to us. So many bio. families and foster families don't see eye to eye but somehow we formed this bond and they ended up being our biggest advocates for adopting Izzy. It makes me cry just thinking about how amazing they have been and how we have become truly a family. We even adopted our kids on the same day so they would always have that in common. Plus we see them all the time so Izzy gets extra grandparents and a great big brother out of the deal! Jim and Anita, you have been like second parents to us and we love you!
It took about a year from when we got Izzy to the day in court when her biological parents gave up their rights to her so we could adopt. It was such an emotional moment for me. The thought of signing over your child so someone you don't even know can have her. It is a pretty amazing gift. I was too chicken that day to go up to her and say thank you and I am not even sure she knew I was there but I have written her a thank you and someday when I am ready I will send it to her.
The next four months after the termination of rights were torture. It was waiting on paperwork, waiting on people in Jeff City to approve things... it was just a ton of waiting! It sure taught me patience or taught me that I have a lack of patience. But at the beginning of April we set the date to adopt on April 15th, 2010. Then all the sudden I feel like it has all gone by so fast. Like it was just yesterday that I got that knock on my door and here it is that what I knew all along was about to happen. That Isabella Nicole Donegan was meant to be our daughter.
It is amazing to me that I don't feel any different about her then I do about Emma. It really doesn't matter that I didn't give birth to her. God always knew she was meant for us, it just happened that she grew in another womb but was born into our hearts!
I am not really sure how to get the pictures actually in the post or to comment about what they are so if anyone can help me with that I would appreciate it. But the first 3 pics are of our first few minutes with Izzy. See Chris' pic where he is pretty freaked out! Then the last one is on ADOPTION DAY!
